Oct 11, 2022 · 6 min read

Mentality to fight against loneliness and depression

The source of loneliness and depression

Mostly, they come from the environment outside of you. Specifically speaking, they are from other people that interact with you. Being isolated or unable to assimilate into your surrounding environment makes you sink in loneliness while receiving criticism or mockery depresses you. However, feeling lonely in an environment is more severe because you cannot find anyone to express your emotions and feelings, thus becoming more prone to depression. Nevertheless, these two are dangerous to your long-term mental health and must be treated accordingly. The solution differs depending on the suffering person, but basically, it will have something to do with the source.

So, how can we try to get over them?

1. Practice individualism, being emotionally independent

Don't pay too much attention to what outside thinks about you, just enough to get your work done. Most of the time people's wording is based on their current emotion, and there is absolutely no reason for you to down your mood with them. Don't let verbal harassment or mockery hurt your mind, they cannot do any harm to you if you don't let them do so. What cannot physically come into contact with you is harmless. You are the only one who can decide how your emotion will be. In some cases, you may show your outward emotion appropriately, but stay still inwards.

Also, refrain from bending yourself to others' requests. Not being comfortable will gradually let you free fall into depression, and you will eventually retaliate. Stop doing that from the beginning will help you avoid unnecessary emotional letdowns afterward. In many cases, you have to give in, remember that you only have to do it temporarily, do it outwardly to achieve what you want, stay intact inside, keep your mind positive. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Thoroughly know what you are aiming at, what exactly is your need, and you are the only one who can control your emotion. This way, you will be emotionally independent, and remain invincible to outside influence.

2. Enrich your inner world

Being isolated would have zero impact on you if you have practiced emotional independence. Your inner world will be a big help to boost your mental strength consistently. Make yourself a hobby that doesn't relate to other people or anything that you don't have total control, and immerse yourself in it. That can be anything, from reading, watching movies/animes/games, planting, coding... (stay away from anything competitive, as this will only drag your mood down more drastically). As long as you have unrestricted access to it, it will be a constant source to nurture your inner world. The more your inner world flourishes, the less you become affected from the outside. Just be sure that you are always able to access your hobby at your will. When outside emits negative impact towards you, go back to your inner world and disregard everything completely. Use your inner world as a method of meditation, and remain unwavering in this volatile universe.

3. Find a way to improve yourself regularly at your own pace

Depression can also come from inward insecurity, which while indirectly related to the outward world, is something that you have to work on yourself. When you achieve emotional independence, the one and only thing to worry about is financial insecurity. Gear yourself up with marketable skills, improving them, expanding your network, keep yourself from heavily depending on a particular entity. Learn how to save, invest, and personal financial literacy.

4. Be minimalistic

Be it a material object or mental object, minimalism lessens your worries, therefore lessens your depression. Keep only things that matter to you. Any mementos that ultimately have no relation or influence to your current and future life must be discarded. These will just set you and everything important to you back. Stop concerning what you cannot control. Enjoy your current life. Live at your own pace. Ignore outside noises. Minimalism builds your peace of mind, lay the solid concrete for you to start constructing your inner world effectively.

5. Expect less, talk less

Expecting too much and be let down when things don't live up to your expectation leads to depression. Lower your expectation as minimal as possible, and the blissfulness brought to you by the result that goes beyond your expectation will become tenfold. Do everything as you pour all your energy into it, but don't expect it to reciprocate. Free your mind from expectation, and you will have nothing to sorrow.

Don't talk about your plans you are working on if it's not necessary, give enough amount of information. You will not raise premature expectation from your beloved ones, and elicit humiliation from the rest, which adds up your stress and wear you out. Only talk if you have already finished them, or at least anticipated the outcomes certainly. In my opinion, however, the fleeting vanity gratification is not worth it. Don't say any words at all if the situation lets you be able to do so.

Researches pointed out that publicly announcing your goals makes you less likely to achieve them

6. Think about those who have to live a misery and unjust life

If you have enough food not to starve, a shelter to hide, a hobby to entertain yourself, and a constant allowance of any kind to spend at your own will, you are in the 5% blessed in the world. Be grateful for it, and free yourself from depression. Make your mind clean, and start thinking for your way out of the situation that delivered depression to you, positively.


Eat banana. This may sound like a joke, but scientific researches said that banana contains elements that can help relieve stress and depression, improve mood and have a good effect on your neural system. So if you are sad, kind of let down or your sanity is not in a sound state, treat yourself a banana.

Hopefully, before you dwell on depression to the extent that you find yourself on the edge of the railway, this can be somewhat salvation to you.

The article was composed from my experience, random Quora posts and the book that who just have stepped into adulthood have to give a read: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fvck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life